Hey Rudy and / or the FBI, pick up your phone

Illustration from article titled Hey Rudy and / or the FBI Pick Up Your Phone

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Wednesday, the feds looted home and office by Rudy Giuliani, famous balloon with legs and former personal lawyer for former President Donald Trump. According to one of Giuliani’s neighbors in his apartment building on the Upper East Side, the officers in question seized and “took out a lot of things.”

Search warrants require investigators to provide the judge with sufficient reason to believe a crime may have been committed, and the bar is higher when the target is a lawyer, even one of Giuliani’s stature.

Gizmodo called and texted a phone number who Giuliani used in the past to determine whether the search warrants executed on Wednesday were related, such as the New York Times reported, the suspicion that he was picking up a small illegal scratch on the side while working for Ukrainian officials or companies who shared Trump’s interest in the impeachment of US Ambassador Marie L. Yovanovich. Strangely enough, we didn’t get an answer!

Trump wanted Yovanovich out of the way because she was seen as an obstacle to his efforts to pressure the Ukrainian government to investigate Joe Biden – an investigation Giuliani led and which was the subject of the Trump’s second record indictment. The Times wrote that the federal government was interested in Rudy’s simultaneous talks to engage hundreds of thousands of people in advisory activities with Ukrainian prosecutor Yuriy Lutsenko, who also wanted Yovanovich to be impeached and who repeatedly attracted the attention of the authorities. The document suggested that the investigation could focus on the registration of foreign agents, which prohibits influencing or lobbying the US government in coordination with foreign officials without disclosure to the Department of Justice.

(Giuliani says he refused the deal, but Giuliani say a lot of things, sometimes farting and literally melt. After an exhilarating series of unsuccessful legal efforts to have the courts overturn the 2020 election results, Trump reportedly refused to pay and fired him.)

This afternoon, Giuliani tweeted that He would address the situation in a 3:00 pm statement on his 77 WABC radio show, but the hour was more devoted to “special programming” on the election of New York mayor by acting host Dominic Carter. Rudy then deleted the tweet, clearly indicating that the notoriously talkative the lawyer may be listening to his own lawyers this time or is otherwise, uh, indisposed.

No formal charges have been announced against Giuliani.

It is also possible that the federal government is interested not only in Giuliani’s Ukrainian relations, but theoretically in the dozens of other crimes that it is reasonable to suspect that he has committed over the years. According to Los Angeles Times legal columnist Harry Litman, other Trump / Giuliani associates with Ukraine ties were attacked Wednesday. CNN reported, “Investigators seized Mr. Giuliani’s electronic devices,” but Rudy should have nothing to worry about because it is a self-declared expert in cybersecurity.

Anyway, we would really appreciate it if Giuliani and / or the FBI could pick up their phone and get back to us. We are sure this is all a little confusion that can be resolved immediately. Good even take an ass-dial.

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